Valentine's Day

Ah what changes a year can bring. Last year I had a valentine. This year, not so much. Unless you want to count the entirely inappropriate flirtations with my microbiology TA, but then again that's not really a valentine. Just a good excuse to bat my eyelashes. (Although he really is fantastic and has probably the best eyes I've seen since my own)

It's a bit odd to think how a year ago I was in a relationship. I seem to think that a lot these days. It doesn't really do any good considering that it's not going to change anything, but then again you can't really help remembering good times like that. I'm not the kind of person who is going to mope about my Valentine's Day cursing people in relationships. Because I think relationships are fantastic. It's one of the best things I can think of being in a relationship with someone. I'm not going through the labors to explain what my ideal relationship is, but it's a parntership with someone who helps me be a better person. Let's leave it at that.

I'm tired of being single. I was so happy, you know? How could anyone be so happy as I was. It seems so wrong. And now that it's gone, been gone for awhile, I'm still learning how to be on my own. But I don't want to be on my own anymore. I really want to have that person around who is there for me no matter what. Who would sell their shoes to be with me. I want to feel that love again that presses down on everything I know to be true and affirms my belief in things greater than myself. That reassures me at the end of the day that tomorrow I will rise up and keep living. I don't want to keep doing this alone.

I want to share my accomplishments and my failures with someone again. Being loved by someone is the greatest gift I could ever have. I want to partner adventures with someone. It's just hard to believe that's possible when you've tried and keep getting broken in the process.

I don't believe in fate when it comes to this stuff. I'll make the decision to be with someone and they'll make the decision to be with me. I think it's worth it and eventually it will happen. I just keep believing that it will.