Thank you very much Charlie!

I'm beginning to learn what my body is capable of. And it's a lot more than I gave it credit for. It's really quite a spectacular thing. When I went running tonight I didn't think I was going to make it very far and it took longer than usualy to get into a good stride but much to my surprise and delight I managed my entire loop, a little over 2 miles, running the entire time. Pretty big accomplishment for me. I appreciate this body more now that I am learning what strength it holds. Inside it's curves, muscles, imperfections, and wonderful little twists and turns.

Instant Matzo Ball Soup

I've found that it's a little harder to keep kosher than I had originally thought. Some things are easy. Eating for example. I haven't had pork/pork products since I was 16. That's almost 7 years. So making the commitment to not eat pork was not a problem. After spending a good chunk of time as a commited vegetarian I was also not to worried about saying that I was only going to eat kosher meat. Meaning that if I did choose to eat meat that it would have been slaughtered/prepared in a kosher manner. What I wasn't looking forward to was swearing off some seafood.

Because I wasn't eating meat I was consuming fish and various other creatures of the deep. But, I've had to leave some of them behind. Shrimp for instance. According to the laws of kashrut you can only eat fish that have scales (and swim close to the surface). So anything without scales and those little bottom dwellers are out. Which is a sad thing. Because I like me some quality shrimp. They're really tasty! There's also the small problem concerning clams. Living only an hour away from the coast means that I'm an hour away from Mo's and their delicious clam chowder...just thinking about it is getting me hungry. But that's besides the point. I guess in the end it's a question of whether or not I can live without clam chowder and shrimp. I think I can.

Cool thing though, while picking up some peanut butter and bleach at Freddy Meyer today I stumbled across a tiny section of shelf space (I mean seriously tiny) devoted to some Kosher food. They had kosher chocoalte, kosher top ramen, kosher soups, kosher matzo mix, and my personal favorite, kosher instant matzo ball soup. Like ramen but with matzo. Will probably have to give that a try next time.

baby steps

I'm giving myself permission to do what's right and to be ok. It's an important thing to do. Really difficult, but sometimes you have to accept that there's things in life you can't change despite your best efforts and that you have to keep moving forward.

Pineapple Express

The rain is back! I guess I'm excited because it means that we're getting the water we need, but it also means that buckets are coming from the sky. It's pretty wet around these parts these days.

Valentine's Day

Ah what changes a year can bring. Last year I had a valentine. This year, not so much. Unless you want to count the entirely inappropriate flirtations with my microbiology TA, but then again that's not really a valentine. Just a good excuse to bat my eyelashes. (Although he really is fantastic and has probably the best eyes I've seen since my own)

It's a bit odd to think how a year ago I was in a relationship. I seem to think that a lot these days. It doesn't really do any good considering that it's not going to change anything, but then again you can't really help remembering good times like that. I'm not the kind of person who is going to mope about my Valentine's Day cursing people in relationships. Because I think relationships are fantastic. It's one of the best things I can think of being in a relationship with someone. I'm not going through the labors to explain what my ideal relationship is, but it's a parntership with someone who helps me be a better person. Let's leave it at that.

I'm tired of being single. I was so happy, you know? How could anyone be so happy as I was. It seems so wrong. And now that it's gone, been gone for awhile, I'm still learning how to be on my own. But I don't want to be on my own anymore. I really want to have that person around who is there for me no matter what. Who would sell their shoes to be with me. I want to feel that love again that presses down on everything I know to be true and affirms my belief in things greater than myself. That reassures me at the end of the day that tomorrow I will rise up and keep living. I don't want to keep doing this alone.

I want to share my accomplishments and my failures with someone again. Being loved by someone is the greatest gift I could ever have. I want to partner adventures with someone. It's just hard to believe that's possible when you've tried and keep getting broken in the process.

I don't believe in fate when it comes to this stuff. I'll make the decision to be with someone and they'll make the decision to be with me. I think it's worth it and eventually it will happen. I just keep believing that it will.

"I don't want to grow up." - Peter Pan

I'm tired. That's about it right now.

Gnarly Skirt

In the spirit of learning how to do for myself (bread, socks, sweaters, hats, etc) I've now learned how to make a quality little wrap skirt, the first of which is now lovingly called Gnarly Skirt. Here's some photos, sorry they're not so clear.

Gnarly Skirt is based off a pattern I got from someone online and consists of eight panels sewn together with a tie back sash sewn onto the top of those. For the first skirt I used a plain brown broadcloth that's really cheap so that if the pattern didn't work or something went horribly wrong then I wouldn't be out very much.

I bought a total of four yards of fabric (plenty for one skirt and lots left over) and I cut the tie from the entire four yard length, so while the skirt varies in size the tie back is four yards long and is really secure. Plus it ties in a little bow and has little hanging pieces!