So the next few weeks are going to be insane. Here's a rundown of the schedule in relation to today.
2 weeks: Going to a wedding and really looking forward to getting off the island for a weekend and making a little trip.
3 weeks: Biology GRE. Super nervous, but have a good handle on the material and my scores are improving so much compared to where they started. Just have to read a ton more of my textbook and I'll be fine.
4 weeks: General GRE. I'm very anxious about this test. I think it's affecting my sleep as I have been waking up every couple hours during the night with my head buzzing and little relief available. I'm hoping it goes away once the test is over but we'll see as it will probably continue until I get my results. Still trying to improve my scores but it's hard as the test is a little tricky. It's starting to really get to me how nervous I am for this exam. The day off is going to be very stressful.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
why
I wish that I could properly explain why I run. It doesn't make any sense why we would engage in such an activity. After all, it hurts, it's exhausting, and there's no real reason for anyone to run anymore. But when I really get to thinking about it why I put myself through such physical torture (appropriately enough the meditation happened during a long hill) I came to a realization. While there are countless other sports out there that require all kinds of technical ability or skill or even specific physical attributes, anyone can run.
But not everyone runs. There is of course the appeal of the elite, the runners that glide over a course, making it look effortless. But the elite are human. They suffer along with the rest of us. While they may be able to go faster, they certainly feel the same pains that we mortals do. Just like there is a shadow chasing many of us down the road, pushing us on beyond the burning muscles and ravaged lungs, every runner knows the feeling of wanting to quit.
Maybe it's some kind of insanity, punishing yourself that way, but there are moments of supreme bliss when you run. If you can get it just right, you can transcend your physical motion and exist completely in your head, absorbed in your thoughts. Your breathing and body move like a machine and for a few blessed moments you don't feel the pain anymore. That's what I run for.
Not to mention there is a feeling of accomplishment that I chose to get up in the morning and run my miles. If I finish nothing else that day, I've at least done something that most people think is beyond their capability.
But I think the more important reason of why I run is to prove to myself that I can. I am my own biggest critic. Out of all the people in my life, I think I am the one with the most doubt about what I am capable of. If I can convince myself on a daily basis that I can by running, then every dry heave, short breath, or tear is absolutely worth it.
But not everyone runs. There is of course the appeal of the elite, the runners that glide over a course, making it look effortless. But the elite are human. They suffer along with the rest of us. While they may be able to go faster, they certainly feel the same pains that we mortals do. Just like there is a shadow chasing many of us down the road, pushing us on beyond the burning muscles and ravaged lungs, every runner knows the feeling of wanting to quit.
Maybe it's some kind of insanity, punishing yourself that way, but there are moments of supreme bliss when you run. If you can get it just right, you can transcend your physical motion and exist completely in your head, absorbed in your thoughts. Your breathing and body move like a machine and for a few blessed moments you don't feel the pain anymore. That's what I run for.
Not to mention there is a feeling of accomplishment that I chose to get up in the morning and run my miles. If I finish nothing else that day, I've at least done something that most people think is beyond their capability.
But I think the more important reason of why I run is to prove to myself that I can. I am my own biggest critic. Out of all the people in my life, I think I am the one with the most doubt about what I am capable of. If I can convince myself on a daily basis that I can by running, then every dry heave, short breath, or tear is absolutely worth it.
Monday, September 01, 2008
glass ceiling?
I was scanning the news this morning when I noticed a story about Oprah featuring olympic athletes on her first show of the season. One woman in the story was quoted as saying that Oprah is more inspiring than Michael Phelps because she "shattered the glass ceiling for women." I disagree with this statement for a few reasons.
1. I've never really believed that there is an actual glass ceiling. Maybe this comes from the fact that I was raised that you can do anything you want no matter what sex you are. While my mother always told me that brave girls can do anything, I firmly believe that she would have said the exact same thing if I had been born a boy. Which leads me to my disbelief in an actual glass ceiling. We ourselves are not bound by any restrictions that others place on us. It's only you that can impose this barrier to advancement that keeps from moving forward.
2. I don't believe that Oprah is so inspiring. Maybe this is because I come from a family whose women have traditionally been on the more "hard core" side of life. As we put it, they could be plowing the field, stop to have a baby, and keep on plowing. These were women who came over the mountains in wagon trains and were the first settlers in parts of Oregon. I can't help but look to these women as more role models than a woman whose ambitions have led her to become so self-righteous.
3. Why is that Oprah is lauded while we tend in a pinch to forget those women who had to fight in their careers to even be recognized. Think about the women 100 years ago, and before, who may have been brilliant writers, scientists, teachers, mathemeticians, engineers, etc. Those women that fought for an education, fought for jobs, fought to follow their passions, and were not recognized in the slightest even though they managed to carve out their own places of success. Just because could light cigarettes with one hundred dollar bills doesn't make her shatter worthy.
1. I've never really believed that there is an actual glass ceiling. Maybe this comes from the fact that I was raised that you can do anything you want no matter what sex you are. While my mother always told me that brave girls can do anything, I firmly believe that she would have said the exact same thing if I had been born a boy. Which leads me to my disbelief in an actual glass ceiling. We ourselves are not bound by any restrictions that others place on us. It's only you that can impose this barrier to advancement that keeps from moving forward.
2. I don't believe that Oprah is so inspiring. Maybe this is because I come from a family whose women have traditionally been on the more "hard core" side of life. As we put it, they could be plowing the field, stop to have a baby, and keep on plowing. These were women who came over the mountains in wagon trains and were the first settlers in parts of Oregon. I can't help but look to these women as more role models than a woman whose ambitions have led her to become so self-righteous.
3. Why is that Oprah is lauded while we tend in a pinch to forget those women who had to fight in their careers to even be recognized. Think about the women 100 years ago, and before, who may have been brilliant writers, scientists, teachers, mathemeticians, engineers, etc. Those women that fought for an education, fought for jobs, fought to follow their passions, and were not recognized in the slightest even though they managed to carve out their own places of success. Just because could light cigarettes with one hundred dollar bills doesn't make her shatter worthy.
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