Sparkly Puff Paint

Really has nothing to do with this post. I just really like the way it looks when it dries....Anyways, it's New Years Eve (as you probably well know) and boy has it been "one of those years". Quite seriously I've been up and down this year and next year is going to be a big one considering I'm graduating from college and will be moving on to the next stage of my life.

This year I managed once again to avoid getting a "real" 9 to 5 job. I kept working in the lab for the rest of the school year and once summer rolled around I was able to take on an intern spot and work 40 hours a week. Sounds like 9 to 5, but it really isn't. The summer was awesome because I got to travel a lot up and down the coast which is always fun. And even though it meant having to get up butt early in the morning (how butt early is between me and anyone who asks....ok 3 am) I still had tons of fun frolicking around the tide pools in all kinds of weather. We worked through rain, sunshine, and even some freaky nice coast weather. There was also plenty of opportunity to battle waves during coastal transect days, a super fun time that I was everyone could have a chance to do simply because it so much fun. Coastal transect involves driving to a bunch of different spots along the coast, taking water samples with a crazy long sampling pole, and filtering water all while trying to fend off crazies like beach combers, old guys walking their dogs, and surfers. Good times though.

After a year and a half hiatus from the realtionship world I started dating again. We all know how that turned out so I won't go into it in detail, but I can say that it was good to know that I was still capable of being in a relationship. Damn scary at times, and super frustrating at others but I'm glad that I did it. Super glad. Learned a lot about myself and what I want from someone in my life and even what I want from my friends. Yay for all my friends!

As for the other stuff in my life, I feel like I"m coming to better terms of what I believe in, what's important to me to accomplish as a human being, and especially how I can effect the world around me. Just coming to grips with my belief system has been an immensely empowering experience. It's also been a year of learning to trust what I am capable of in terms of my abilities to cope with my life. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be and I think that's come with understanding myself better.

Well now that that emotional stuff is out the way, here's a blast from the past photo of New Years FIVE(!) years ago in Australia. The dude wearing the tie is probably one of the most important people I know. His name is Glen and he's freaking amazing. Seriously dude. And that's little me when I was only 17 (awe!), now I'm 22 and getting ready to jump off the precipice into the unknown. But it's going to be really good. I can already tell.

Here's to next year being as and even more amazing than this year was!

Challah back

After a couple of failed attempts (really it's harder than it looks) I finally produced a decent batch of challah while I was staying on the farm. I cooked these loaves up in the woodstove too which made the experience that much more gratifying. I will tell you this though, there's something intensely satisfying about kneading bread while looking out a farmhouse window at a garden that someone has labored over in order to get their own food. That and the view of the valley is spectacular from that particular window.

A tale of good times on the farm...

When I agreed to watch the farm for the few days that Nate and Channa would be on vacation, I knew that I was taking on a lot of work, but I figured that I could handle it. I’ve spent time learning the ropes of the farm and thought that I was well prepared for the challenge ahead. But, as I would soon learn, no amount of preparation could save me when it actually came time to assume my farm duties.

It probably began the first night that I was alone on the farm. During the milking there was a car accident on the corner that the farm is on, resulting in several disoriented folks wandering around the road while their car was on its nose in the ditch. I don’t know what happened since I was in the cow shed when the accident occurred, but I watched the clean up from the porch with Reese the cat who was seeking a little bit of comfort from the cold night. “Good thing I don’t believe in signs,” I muttered to Reese, but I probably should have taken mental note as the tow-truck pushed and pulled the car back onto the road and the emergency flares sputtered themselves out.

The next morning found me in the kitchen struggling to get the woodstove lit. I spent three summers working at a summer camp and thought I knew how to light a decent fire. Turns out I was wrong. After cursing and blowing on struggling kindling for a few minutes I went out onto the porch to get some wood and let the door shut behind me. The only problem was that the door was locked. So was the front door. In essence, I found myself locked out of the house. I grew up in an old house with a secret coal shoot where they used to dump coal into the basement, so I figured that maybe this old farm house would have a “secret entrance” of its own.

I walked around the house for a few minutes, checking everything I could, until I came to the bathroom window. Luckily, it was unlocked and I was able to jimmy it open enough to fit myself through, but just barely. I couldn’t reach the window enough on my own to get all the way through it, so I pulled a bench over to where I could stand on it and get myself through. But while dragging this bench towards the window I heard a tiny trill and turned around to see Winter perched on the windowsill, eyeing the freedom she could have if she only jumped. “NO!” I shouted, causing Winter to disappear back through the curtain and into the house.

Once the bench was in place I got myself halfway through the windowsill, before I became inextricably stuck. I couldn’t get myself back through and the only way to go was forward. Since the window is a good four feet off the ground and I was looking at a head first drop onto the tile floor, not something that you really want to do first thing in the morning. Gritting my teeth I gave the great push and fell with as much grace as I could muster (and with as few possible bruises) onto the cold floor before jumping quickly to my feet and shutting the window, thus thwarting Winter’s escape efforts.

I gave up on the woodstove and boiled water on the electric range to sterilize the milk bucket. I was running a bit late and still had to cut grass for Aura to eat while I milked her. Cutting grass was a whole challenge unto itself. Usually it only takes Nate a few minutes to be able to cut an entire bag of grass. But he’s using a scythe. I was not so fortunate. The scythe wouldn’t work for me because Nate is a towering giant and I am, well, I am not so much. So I was forced to cut grass with a sickle. Yes, a sickle. As Nate said to me, “You’re going back about 5000 years in the history of agriculture with that thing!” Hunched over hacking away with my sickle in the early morning I certainly felt like I was going back in time. People invent stuff for a reason. And harvesting grain is one those reasons.

After only managing to cut half a bag of grass before I started to hear the ducks screaming to be let out of their pen, I ran back up to the cow shed to manage the fastest milking anyone has ever seen. I was getting a good stride going during the milking when Aura decided that she was going to poop. Not only did she poop, but she did so right next to the milk bucket. My dreams of milking time records were shattered. Thanks a lot, Aura. The milking officially over I finished the job in the cow shed before returning a slightly disgruntled Aura to her stall.

The ducks were not much help that morning either. They did give me an egg, which is probably the only good thing they did then, but after I let them out I followed them up to the day pen only to find that they were outside the pen. Not a big deal, I’ve seen them do that before. Except this time they couldn’t find the opening to the pen. They didn’t seem to care that food and fresh water were waiting for them, they decided instead that they were going to run me around the duck pen for 20 minutes. I think it was planned. They’re usually really good about going inside, but some reason they just couldn’t grasp where the door was. So chase them I did. Eventually they got the idea, but their good image in my mind was already tarnished.

Getting back to the kitchen I felt like I’d been sent through the grinder. Almost everything that could have gone wrong, did indeed go wrong. But after that I figured that my luck could only improve. And true to form it did. I managed to get a nice fire lit and spent the day in front of it knitting and after a failed batch, producing a couple of decent loaves of challah in the woodstove. All in all my stay at the farm was very enjoyable and I did manage to get down a routine to the chores and get them done every time. But it will probably be some time before I’m ready to strike out a bit homesteading on my own.

A little note from the farm

For the past couple of days I've been taking care of my friend's farm (yes, the whole farm) and it's been quite fun. I'm getting really good at herding the ducks and milking the cow, but probably the one thing that has improved the most since I've been here is my skill at harvesting with a sickle. Why would I need to know how to do such a thing? Well the answer to that is very simple. The cow that they have is exclusively grass fed, which means that twice a day she needs a bag of grass cut for her so that she can be milked and given the proper nutrition. Simple.

Harvesting with the sickle is a lot of work though. As it was put to me, "You're going back about 5000 years in farm history with that thing", awesome. The entire civilization of Mesopotamia was built on grains harvested with a sickle. Forget that that civilization crashed and burned, but I'm doing just fine. And for those people out there who are playing those crazy role playing games where you pretend to be farmers or what not and you have to do the harvest to get points or whatever (I really don't know), you have no idea what it's like to harvest!!!!!!

Ok, mini-rant over. I promise. All in all I'm having a super fun time out here on the farm. I would recommend spending quality time like this to everyone.

What?

Seeing as how it's been a long time since the last post (really so much time!) I figured that I should pop in and write something. At least something more than a 'taking finals' sort of note.

Finals are over now. Ha! Rocked it hard core which makes me happy and sets me up really nice into the next term which is going to be massive bad. I've been cornered into taking aquatic entomology, a class which will be the death of me considering I know nothing about bugs. Literally, I know nothing about them. I don't really care to know anything either. Basically my relationship with bugs (complete avoidance) has proven optimal up until this point and I really don't want to mess with it. But, I also really want to graduate (I just got a wave of excitement about graduating. The first ever).

Speaking of the inevitable future, I'm still working out that little bug of uncertaintly about what it is that I'll be doing. A lot of times I have to remind myself not to wait for the epiphany and to just make a decision. Another one of those things that is easier said than done.

So to end this 'I am still alive' post, I've decided to treat you all to a video of my cat. World, meet Homer. Homer, meet the world...

The funny thing about nothing

I really don't have much to say today. It's finals week so I'm a bit over things right now. Especially since my laptop decided it was going to kick the bucket this morning. Not only did it go down in flames (not literally) but it took my five page History of Science final paper with it. Awesome. Good thing I wrote half of the paper and e-mailed it to myself from a school computer so I've been able to save at least half of it. Not so great for the half that I still have to write.

My friends got a cow on their farm yesterday. It's pretty fun. I went out to say hello to the new cow and it's a tiny little thing. A Dexter cow. I don't have a picture right now, so I guess you'll just have to look it up for yourself.

Here's a thought: As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
How true.

Regaining hope

It's amazing how your life can change in simple moments. That your entire outlook can be changed by one person telling you that anything is possible. Yesterday was the final day of classes for this term, and it would be an understatement to say that this has been a difficult term for me. Personally I've been dealing with the end of a wonderful relationship, by my own choice and partly by the choice of my partner who had decided a long time ago that the relationship was over but had failed to tell me. Academically it's been difficult to remember why I'm going to school in the first place. I've lost a lot of my focus and the drive that ruled my life. In many of my classes there's been an attitude that our world is a lost cause, that there is no cure for the "evils" going on today (global warming, Iraq, oil shortages, AIDS, etc). It's difficult to remain optimistic for the future when even your teachers seem to have lost hope.

This term I had to take a History of Science course, and I happened to be able to take a course about the theory of evolution and the history of modern biology. It was all about how the theory came about and how it's changed since Darwin first introduced it. In yesterday's class, the last class of the term, my last class of the term, the professor, Dr. Farber, read from some comments that he had prepared for us. In them, he recalled Darwin, not as Darwin, but simply as Charles Darwin, before he became what we know him as now. He reminded us that Darwin was no exceptional genius, that he was a mediocre student and moderately wealthy man who could have chosen a life of hunting, dinner parties, and garden games if he had so chosen. But Charles had chosen another path for himself. He made the decision to work hard on solving a problem. And he did. And it changed the world.

Farber wanted us to remember that the actions of one person can change the world. That in each of us is the potential to do something great. We just have to make the decision to do something great. I really can't begin to express how much it meant to me to hear someone say that. Especially someone who so deeply believed it. He told us that the actions of one person make a difference. And that even if we may not see it, we may not see it right at this moment in time, we can make a difference in the world. All we have to do is try. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all just believed enough to try? That if we just looked at who we are right at this moment and what we can do to make the world a better place, how would the world change?

I know it's hoaky to say it, but Farber changed my life. He's given me my hope back. Maybe I just needed to hear it again. But this morning when I took bottles to the store to be recycled there was a can-man who was uncrinkling cans so that he could get the returns on them. He needed those cans desperately, so I gave him my bottle return receipt, $4.20 in total. Maybe if we all just gave away our bottle receipts we could some real good. I think Farber would approve.

BOO!

I'm sad to say that after three and a half years of loyal service, my Chacos have finally bit it. Hard. The strap finally completely broke off, and there's a hole in the bottom of the right shoe. To get both shoes restrapped and resoled would be around $60, not to mention shipping and all that stuff. So, I decided it would be better just to replace them with new Chacos. Very sad.

I settled on a pattern this time instead of the black that I've been wearing. It took a while to find the proper size in the pattern I wanted, but backcountry.com did the trick. Here's a picture of what the new Chacos will look like. Very good stuff if you ask me.
Even though it means that I won't have the black Chacos anymore. Change is always a good thing though.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

In Writing this week we workshopped a story that was about a devoutlty religious mother who has to come to terms with the fact that her teenage daughter is now pregnant out of wedlock. A grievous offense in the mother's eyes. Now really I promise that I have no problem with stories that are about crisis in religion on the personal level, nor do I have problems with religion in general. But really this woman's story almost pushed me over the edge.

First off she wrote it in third person and the tone of the entire story was very put upon and there was definitely more of the author in the story than should have been. She assured us that she wasn't modeling the mother off of herself, but it's been pretty obvious over the last few weeks how this woman feels about people who aren't Christian and don't lead the "exemplary" Christian existance. But then is there anyone that really does?

On campus' there is a group called Campus Crusade for Christ, and while I'm sure that they do wonderful things, the fact that it's got the word "crusade" in it makes me a little nervous. I always think that if I were to meet up with them in the quad I'd be assaulted with Bible's and urged to convert by rock music and other catchy ministry tools. A little frightening for someone going through what some would call a search for faith. I have faith, but which faith that is is debatable. I guess it's my very own.

Which is why I don't really care to much for groups that are very in your face about their faith. I don't like the idea that there is so much emphasis on the after life and what's going to happen when we die. I would like to think that my soul is going to be taken care of, besides what do any of us really know what happens after we die.

But why don't we struggle to make the world a better place? Why not work to have heaven on earth instead of relying that we will get our dues in the end. Let's fix things now instead of focusing on what's going to happen when we die.

Wee-ords from the Cosmos *doo, doo, doo*

I know I really shouldn't believe horoscopes, but how can I not when they're so applicable to my life?? Tell me that! Bam!

Virgo
August 23 - September 21
You are speeding along in your vehicle and suddenly there is a huge ramp in front of you, dear Virgo. You have the choice of avoiding the ramp, staying on the ground where you know that it is safe and clear, and being content with a very limited view of the world. Another choice, however, is to hit that ramp head-on and let it send you soaring up over the trees and beyond. Who knows where you might land? There is an incredible adventure waiting for you when you take that leap into the unknown.

PS- I had my cholesterol checked this week and it's 167. Plus my cardiac risk ratio is 3. Flippin' sweet.

Surprise Visitors

My building is being recaulked (weird) and I came home today to find two construction dudes outside my second floor kitchen window. Awkward.

DUCKS!!

My friend went mushroom hunting with her husband and they asked me to put the ducks at their farm up for the night. It's pretty much one of my favorite things ever. Makes me want to be a little farmer. Heck yes.
PS- My voice isn't really that high. It just sounds funny for some reason.

Hang on to your seats, folks...

Harry Potter grows up.

Personally, I think the kid is taking a huge chance with his career considering the possible alienation of his entire fan base. This has the potential to work out really well (slight chance) or it could blow up in his face in a massive explosion of backlash. Ha.

On Reserve

Doing homework really is something that I like to do. Especially when it's homework that I like to call "active" homework instead of "passive" homework. I'm taking a class this term called Marine Conservation Biology and it's one of the best classes that I've ever taken. It's a debate class, meaning that each week we learn about an issue in marine conservation and then we debate about it. You don't know if you're going to be pro or con so you really have to know your stuff for both sides.

This week we're talking about the effectiveness of Marine Reserves (complete no-take zones) and whether or not they're a viable management tool. Of course they're a valuable tool, but how much should we rely on reserves? That seems to be the key question. A reserve is really good at taking care of fish in a certain area, but if we know little about the life history of the targeted fish (West Coast rockfish for example) what good is a reserve going to do if we don't know if what we're protecting is a spawning ground or an area where the fish just 'hang out' until they are mature.

Some people in class have referencing the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park in Australia, a place that I hold near and dear to my heart. Probably the best (and I think the only) example of a long standing marine reserve, the GBRMP now has available the data which is needed to evaluate whether reserves really are accomplishing the goals they were established for.

One area of development that I am particularly interested in is the need for some kind of legislation on either reserves or protected areas in the Bahamas. There's been a lot of movement forward in deciding what needs to be done and which areas should be protected, but really I don't know how effective it'll be if there isn't some kind of community effort to go along with the scientific one. It seems like a bad idea to just tell people they can't do something without having involved them in the decision making process and to not explain to them why they can't do something. What you'll get if you cut out the community is an increased rate of poaching in the reserve and a distanced community that will be highly resistant to any sort of scientific intrusion. And that's a bad situation all around.

Once again, more evidence that community education programs are an essential component of any conservation effort.

New Fun Stuff!

I'll start posting fun things that I see during the day. We'll call it Esther-cam. How's about that?

For our first installment of Esther-cam, here's a shot of what I see over the top of my microscope everyday at work. Good times. I like to call him Sargeant Scope, or my own private motivator.

"What we have here is a dead shark."

I can't say that I'm entirely ok right now. Since breaking up I've entered the 'bitter phase' where I'm pretty much sick of seeing, hearing, and/or reading about people in relationships. A girl I work with was talking about how her and her boyfriend were being "couply" and how they "are in love" and I wanted to punch her. Really, I've never wanted to punch anyone more in my entire
life.

How come she gets to be so happy? What did I ever do to not deserve a good relationship? Wait, scratch that. I DO deserve a fine relationship. I deserve the best relationship out there. What's really bothering is why I don't have that. It doesn't really help when this particular girl spends half her time complaining about her boyfriend and then turns around and talks about how in love they are. Oy.

I don't like being bitter. Honestly, it really gets me down that I feel this way. It's not a good way to feel about the world. But it's one of those steps you go through on the way back from being in a relationship. I'm still angry at times, because who wouldn't be angry at someone who wasn't willing to compromise or take a chance in life on something that could be the most important thing they've ever done? But then again, a wise woman told me that if they had decided to take a chance then it would be out of character. So true.

But come on. Anyone who says that their family drives them crazy and then refuses to live more than three hours from them has some issues they need to at least admit to themselves if not deal with. Geez I promised myself I wouldn't rant but then again here I am, ranting away.

Anyways, here I am, a little woman who at the moment is bitter at the world. At least the couples of the world.

Numero Uno

Since this is my first post, I thought that before I delve into the inner workings of blogging that I would offer up a survey as a quick and easy way to get to know me. So, enjoy!

1. What are your siblings' MIDDLE names?
He doesn't have a middle name. He's got a really loooooooooooong name as it is. Hyphens and all.

2. Where is your dad right now?
At home. I hope his cold is better.

3. What was the last thing you said and to who?
"Do what you want" to Chris. Yeah I guess you could say I'm a little pissed at him but I think it's just the natural progression of dissapointment.

4. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
That I'm 'impressive'. :)

5. What color is your watch?
green

6. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Grad school, work site, future home, land of Mr. Right...

7. When was the last time you had to pee?
Actually right now..I'll be right back...

8. Who is the last person you liked?
I'm starting to jones on Joel McHale, that guy who hosts 'The Soup'. That's pretty bad.

9. Are you close with your mom?
Heck yes.

10. Where does your mom work?
She's a penguin wrangler for National Geographic and those documentary guys, and in the off season she's a Vespa tester.

11. Do you like the person who sent this survey?
Well I stole it from a friend who probably lifted it from someone else. Wouldn't it be fun to find out who started it all?

10. What was your favorite show when you were growing up?
Anything on the discovery channel

13. What color are your jeans?
blue.

14. Do you have roommates?
I live with my cat. Two years of bad room mates taught me that I'm better off living on my own. But living with my cat is seriously the coolest thing ever.

15. What color is your bedroom flooring?
wood

16. Do you have a chair in your room
Yes it's a blue recliner type chair

17. What time were you born?
about 2.30 in the afternoon.

18. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
At this point I have no idea. So many people I know are getting engaged and married and NOW THEY'RE HAVING BABIES WHAT THE HELL!!

19. What's your favorite number?
22

20. Do you know anyone named Laurie?
nope

21. What color is your mom's hair?
Brown.

22. Do you have a dog?
My folks do. Yay for Spud!

23. Where did you live in 1997?
Still in Salem.

24. What happened to you in 1992?
2nd grade. I think that was the year I learned what a marine biologist was and thus my fate was sealed.

25. Does your first memory involve your dad?
i remember sitting in the lap of one of my parents in a rocking chair and they're singing to me.

27. When was the last time you went swimming?
Last tide series I had to do the sampling at the beaches and we had to go into the water. It was freezing.

28. Has your luggage ever been lost?
Yes. I was one of those people December 2004 who was stuck in Philadelphia. I hate that city.

29. When was the last time you talked to your siblings?
About a month ago.

30. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
I worked at camp!

31. Do you play an instrument?
not currently

33. Do you like fire?
maybe

34. Where are your best friends from?
Salem and California! I can forgive Ielle for being born in Cali.

35. Are you allergic to anything?
nope!

36. When was the last time you cried?
Last week sometime. I think. Or the week before. If not last week then definitely the week before.

37. What kind of shampoo do you use?
Australian Organics.

38. Have you ever been to a spa?
Nope.

40. Did you take science all four years of high school?
Hahahaha yeah. I'm a science major now.

41. Do you like butterflies?
They're natures tinfoil.

42. What is the last book you read?
Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey

43. Do you like Coke or Pepsi more?
I don't drink soda.

44. What is one thing you miss about your past?
um...no idea. Actually probably the snow of winter of '93. Those were some good times.

45. Did you ever see the school nurse?
nope

46. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I would love to go into community education conservation efforts. I think community education is an essential cornerstone of any conservation.

47. Are you jealous of anyone?
nope

48. When was the last time you were in an elevator?
Last friday on my way to work.